and so I gave you the moon

Details:

24x24" / 60.5x60.5cm (framed)
Oil on wood panel
2022

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Statement:

Throughout my childhood and teenage years, I struggled deeply with self esteem. I was incredibly shy and often felt small in the presence of others, sometimes too intimidated to even speak to teachers or authority figures. As I entered adulthood, I began to resent the limitations this placed on me and made a conscious decision to become more confident.

This painting captures the final stretch of that period in my life. I had reached a point of complete emotional exhaustion and finally recognised how much of myself I had been giving away in pursuit of something unrequited. More importantly, I began to understand that love should never require the abandonment of oneself.

The chessboard became a metaphor for this internal shift. Beside me sits the queen, representing the worth and strength I knew existed within me, even if I had not yet fully embodied it. On the chess board in the background, the opposing king has fallen. It represents the beginning of overcoming the power imbalance I had repeatedly created by placing others above myself.

At its core, this piece is about the desperate desire to grow beyond an inferiority complex and finally recognise one's own value. I prayed constantly during this period for the confidence and wisdom to leave that version of myself behind. I no longer wanted to move through the world feeling small. I wanted to take up space without apology, to love without losing myself, and to understand that my worth could not be determined by another person's ability to recognise it.

Today, it remains one of my favourite works because I can look back at it and recognise how much of that prayer was eventually answered. In this painting I had not yet fully discovered my power, and was finally beginning to realise that I had possessed it all along.